tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-277818642024-03-07T20:58:53.165-08:00Here in IdahoUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-38821451689705200082006-10-10T21:03:00.000-07:002006-10-10T21:04:30.960-07:00We're Moving!<p>Here In Idaho is in the process of moving from <a target="_blank" title="Here In Idaho" href="http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com">here-in-idaho.blogspot.com</a> to this site, <a title="Here In Idaho" href="http://here-in-idaho.com">here-in-idaho.com</a>.<br /><br />The move has not been as smooth as we were hoping. The import from blogger beta didn't work, so we were only able to import the first few posts and no comments. We're working on it now and hoping to get the old content transferred over quickly. In the mean time, you can view <a target="_blank" title="Here In Idaho" href="http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com">here-in-idaho.blogspot.com</a> for archives.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-18327815280773080062006-10-10T15:50:00.000-07:002006-10-10T15:51:11.324-07:00Prepare to be amazed.Click <a href="http://www.here-in-idaho.com/">here.</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-75598800403942993452006-10-08T23:35:00.000-07:002006-10-09T00:01:35.729-07:00Americans aren't the only ones with messed-up, crazy leaders. Look at what I found...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.dictatorofthemonth.com/Sung/kimilsung.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.dictatorofthemonth.com/Sung/kimilsung.jpeg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />October 9, 2006<br /><br />Dear Diary,<br /><br />Today I detonated North Korea's first atomic bomb. I bet the capitalist Americans are FREAKING OUT lol. And the chinese mainland...I hate those guys. They're always in my space. And I think they're stalking my Myspace page...I keep getting spam and "ur a looser." on my comments. I'll show them ha ha ha.<br /><br />So anyways, I just thought I'd journal out my feelings 2night. I think that I'm going to mess with the UN for a while before I hide my bombs. I need some new furniture (totally trashed the place after my last D & D party). So I'm gonna see if I can get some new stuff for my place from the UN. My big screen tv is effing on the blitz again. Peace of crap. Probably made by the Chinese. I'll get them for that lol.<br /><br />Speaking of tv, I need to check my tivo. I missed the premier of Lost (busy with H-bombz) so I need to catch up. OMSelf! I almost forgot...I totally FREAKED out when my girl Vivica was eliminated from Dancing With the Stars! I needs to hook up with her. She is hott. I tried to message her on myspace but I think it wasn't really her site. The pictures on her page looked like they were of a drag queen. He was still hott, lol. <br /><br />I think I need to start working out. All of the national paintings of me show this fugly double chin I've got going on. What's up with that? Maybe it's time to get some work done...uh-oh though, don't want to turn out like Janice Dickinson ha ha ha.<br /><br />So I best be going. I got some wicked work to get done before I start messin' with Kofi. I think I'm going to be all, "Yeah...I'll hand over my bombs for reals. Psyyyyych!" My job rocks.<br /><br />Peace,<br /><br />KimUnknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-32199918267011741212006-10-08T19:22:00.000-07:002006-10-08T19:27:01.530-07:00There's too many to choose from. TOO MANY, I TELL YOU!!So we began with the <a href="http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com/2006/08/good-girls-guide-to-70s-cinema.html">Good Girl's Guide to Seventies Cinema</a>. To which, by the way, I officially add <em><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0070510/">Paper Moon</a></em>. And then we covered the <a href="http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com/2006/08/would-you-like-me-to-seduce-you-is.html">Not-Quite-As-Good Girl's Guide to Movies of the 1960s</a>. Followed by <a href="http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com/2006/09/back-to-movies-and-longest-post-ever.html">Boring Title for a Boring Decade, except for the ones featuring Marlon Brando: Movies of the 1950s</a>.<br /><br /><br />Before beginning my loving tribute to my favorite decade in movie making, at least my <em>other</em> favorite decade, I should inform the unintiated reader that I am a lover of old films. L-O-V-E-R with a capital FREAK when it comes to movies of the 1930s and 1940s. So writing this post and narrowing down my favorites may be, no<em> will</em> be, <em>the hardest thing I've ever done in my life</em>. Ever. It's go-time.<br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0038650/"><strong>It's a Wonderful Life</strong></a> - I already wrote an extensive tribute to this film over <a href="http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com/2006/07/george-bailey-ill-love-you-til-day-i.html">here</a>, so I'm not going to gush any more than I already did. Except to say this is the finest movie of the decade. And for sentimental suckers like me, possibly of all time.<br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0032904/"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Philadelphia Story</span> </a>- "My feet are made of clay, made of clay. Did you know?"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4RsK12KG_94"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4RsK12KG_94" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br />My other favorite movie of all time. Mr. CaryGrant, Mr. Jimmy Stewart, Lovely Miss Katharine Hepburn...they just need to slap some Judy Garland and Gene Kelly up in there and I'd straight-up do the robot in pure joy.<br /><br /><br /><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0000026/">Mr. CaryGrant Stars in</a>... I tried to pick another favorite but I couldn't. And you can't make me. He has three stand-outs of the 1940s. <strong><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0032599/">His Girl Friday</a>, <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0029284/">My Favorite Wife</a>, </strong>and<strong> <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0040613/">Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House</a></strong> . Look up the word "charming" in the dictionary. <a href="http://laboiteaimages.hautetfort.com/images/medium_kobal-collection-cary-grant.jpg">This </a>is what you'll see. Look up "double-take", and while you're there, look up "best comedic timing ever. EVER." Mr. Cary Grant. The only man that can make George Clooney look like a buffoon.<br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0033563/"><strong>Dumbo</strong></a>- The part...with the...mama elephant...and the bars...and the chain...I can't even write about it without falling apart. Excuse me.<br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0037059/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Meet Me in St. Louis</span></a> - Liza Minnelli was concieved because of this movie. You so needed to know that. This is the story of a Victorian family living in St. Louis in 1904. Sort of a "year in the life" of this family. And that's it...not much drama, not much suspense. MMISL is just a pretty little picture of a pretty little time that probably never existed as prettily as it did in the movie. Sort of like Norman Rockwell paintings. You'd like to think things used to be so lovely, but deep down you know better. Judy Garland is in this one. And she's adorable.<br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0033870/"><strong>The Maltese Falcon</strong> </a>- "When you're slapped, you'll take it and you'll like it." Don't fool with Sam Spade. He'll mess you up.<br /><br /><br /><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0031679/">Mr. Smith Goes to Washington </a>- Make your kids watch this. Make your neighbor watch this. Make your congressman watch this...but keep an eye on your congressman. Don't let him get fresh with your kids.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn star in</span> -<span style="font-weight: bold;"> <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0041090/">Adam's Rib</a></span><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0041090/"> </a>and <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0035567/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Woman of the Year</span>.</a> Once more, I couldn't choose. But keep your eye on Hepburn in both of them. She didn't need Gloria Steinem to teach her how to assert herself. What a woman.<br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0033467/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Citizen Kane</span></a> - Rooooossseebuuud....Citizen Kane isn't all about doom and gloom, you know. Witness debauchery filmed below:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_zKcddU8HKk"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_zKcddU8HKk" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br />Exactly what I imagine the Blogher conference looked like. Only less male.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0037913/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mildred Pierce </span></a>- Back when shoulder pads and highly arched eyebrows = glamour, Joan Crawford pulled off this masterpiece. That's right, I said Joan "no wire hangers!" Crawford. Watch this movie and then keep an eye on your daughters....your backstabbing, conniving, manipulative daughters... Not now, Ava...I'm writing my blog!<br /><br />And finally,<br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0034583/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Casablanca</span></a> - I think that there is a law somewhere requiring everyone alive to see Casablanca. I'm not sure if it's federal law...or just part of Bush's sweeping Patriotic Act initiatives...but I know it's on the books. So get this in your Netflix queue before the Minute-Men come and lock up your sorry self. And the scene below, this very scene, is one of my favorite moments ever recorded on film. Viva La France!<br /><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/j5T3e_smFgk"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/j5T3e_smFgk" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />There you have it. My favorite movies from my favorite decade. And I could've kept going. So when I see this nonsense those Hollywood schmucks try to jam down our throats these days, I know better. Those fools have got nothing on these guys.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-12946220320588376302006-10-08T06:13:00.000-07:002006-10-08T06:16:12.293-07:00Husbands say the sweetest things.5:30 am<br /><br />Me (whispering): Bye, darling. I'm going to work. I took $2 from your wallet.<br /><br />Will (sleeping): Don't take money from me. I'll knock you out.<br /><br />Me: snicker, snicker<br /><br />Will: I'll come after you with a club.<br /><br />Me: Bye, darling. Have a good morning.<br /><br />Will: You, too. <br /><br /><br />That Will...he's such a card.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-69745252979367950022006-10-07T13:34:00.000-07:002006-10-07T13:39:40.080-07:00Get your certificate. Jerk.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i.idnes.cz/06/022/cl/KOT1109f9_david_1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://i.idnes.cz/06/022/cl/KOT1109f9_david_1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Congratulations.<br />Riley <a href="http://www.thedailyhasselhoff.com/?p=109">won</a> legit. Maybe.<br />No, I'm not jealous.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-75753789889956366652006-10-06T12:05:00.000-07:002006-10-06T13:50:13.539-07:00Where have all the Audreys gone?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1998/nick10.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: pointer" alt="" src="http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1998/nick10.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It's time for a gratuitous exercise in celebrity bashing. I'm thinking of making it a weekly feature. As in, where have all the Audrey's gone? Fridays. <a href="http://web.ukonline.co.uk/audrey-hepburn/scansh/hepburna2/AUDREY_HEPBURN2.JPG">Audrey</a>, who exuded elegance, and who's sophistication is decidely lacking in today's celebrity personas. Today I'm going to pick on someone very near and dear to my heart. At least the part of my heart that abhors talent.<br /><br />How far can one travel on the strength of their personality alone? Let's look at Madonna, shall we? I fall into the avid Madonna-disliker category. Some of you may be now stuffing non-descript envelopes with explosives to send to my door at this very moment. Just pause a second. I'm going somewhere with this.<br /><br />Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. When I was a little girl, like most little girls, I loved running around singing "Like a Virgin." Rolling around on the floor, <a href="http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1984/mtv_show7.jpg">crawling in my pretend wedding dress</a>...good times. I adored Madonna. I think I even had a poster of her in my room. Crispy hair, GINORMOUS eyebrow...she was the bomb. When I was eight. Then she went through her <a href="http://www.madonnashots.com/grsat05.jpg">clown face stage</a>, and then <a href="http://www.cdquest.com/images/album_art/sorted/0075/9925/0075992545129.jpg">look-at-me-I'm-hispanic stage</a>, and <a href="http://www.madonnashots.com/preg3.jpg">so on</a> and so forth. So while I was growing up, Madonna was just getting new hair cuts. The media loves to call this "evolving" and "controversial" . I call it "getting a new haircut" and "bastardizing religious symbols for your own promotion." Ouch. Put those bombs away, my friends. I'm still going somewhere with this.<br /><br />But she pulls it off. She has a couple of dissenters like me, but it seems that most of the world community thinks she's cool and who am I to say they're wrong? Well...I'm Kristi and I say they're wrong, but that's besides the point. Madonna has made an empire based on the strength of her personality. How many of you know 11th grade choir girls who can sing better than Madonna? Don't answer that. What she lacks in talent, she makes up for in bravado.<br /><br />Where am I going with this? I'll tell you.<br /><br />Here in the blogging world, there are a handful of people who <a href="http://dooce.com/">make their livings off</a> of their blogs. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouf? They don't have real jobs. They blog and their ad revenue makes them enough money to sustain themselves and their families. I know. It's crazy. Crazy-like how do I get on <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">that</span> crazy-train? Apparently it has something to do with something called traffic. It's all a mystery to me.<br /><br />So in my new-found passion to emulate Madonna in order to generate web traffic, I think I'm going to be making a few changes. For one, I'm going to start mocking all things spiritual by stealing your cultural identity and claiming it for my own. This week I'm <a href="http://www.beautifulmadonna.com/videostill/rain/005.jpg">Asian</a>. Call me <a href="http://www.madonnalicious.com/images/1999/nrm_video_ns1.jpg">Kristi-San.</a> Next week I'll be <a href="http://www.tribuneindia.com/1998/98sep12/1102b.jpg">Indian</a>. Dots, not feathers. And if you're offended, call Madonna. She's already covered this ground, so it's ok.<br /><br />Second, I'm going to start writing crappy songs. Here's my first one (to be sung to the tune of Madonna's <a href="http://members.aol.com/RussC23/musiclyrics.html">"Music")</a>:<br /><br />Hey Mr. Charlie, time to go to school.<br />It's time to start our homeschool.<br />Reading...makes the children...smarter...yeah.<br />Reading...makes the children...smarter...yeah.<br /><br />Third, obviously I need to be showing some more skin up here. So, I'm warning you now, in the future I will be flashing midriff and possibly boobs if you're lucky. Yes. I know Madonna works out really hard to get those <a href="http://www.madonnashots.com/parisp01d.jpg">freaky arms</a> that could decapitate small children, but "fitness" is her "look". I can't go for that look because it's her look. My "look" is what I call "not-fit and a little bit flabby." Believe me, there are some people who really go for that. Sickos.<br /><br />Alright, then. It's the new me. The Madonna-esque me. Let the checks start rolling in!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-8288251722709587892006-10-05T08:32:00.000-07:002006-10-05T08:42:42.650-07:00Is this how I'm supposed to be writing?I give you the following:<br /><br /><h4 id="feature_author"></h4><blockquote><h4 style="font-weight: normal;" id="feature_author">By FRAZIER MOORE AP Television Writer</h4> <p><strong style="font-weight: normal;">NEW YORK Oct 4, 2006 (AP)</strong>— "Lost" settled a few questions sort of while posing many more on the premiere of its third season Wednesday.</p></blockquote><p></p><br />Do you see this syntax? This would be like me saying, "I should be starting math sort of but I'm at the computer freaking out over an AP writer's sentence structure."<br /><br />I'm not a grammar nazi. It's one thing to leave out correct capitalization and punctuation on your emails or text messages. But I've noticed that national publications are getting sloppy, as well. And this is scary. Once the papers forget the rules, you forget the rules, we'll forget the rules, it'll be anarchy!<br /><br />That's all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1160006003128478452006-10-04T16:53:00.000-07:002006-10-04T17:31:27.163-07:00No, I do not know what these words are. Yes, that makes me stupid.Beck over at <a href="http://frogandtoadarefriends.blogspot.com/">Frog and Toad are Friends</a> has given me four words to define. Beck, who is so smart that she used the word "clement" in a recent post, which I had to look up. Mild weather. Duh.<br /><br />I assume I'm not allowed to look these words up. So I'm guessing. Here are her words for me:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Callipygian</span> - Semi-retarded cousins of the Egyptians. As in, "The Callipygians disappeared from history after a misguided and ill-timed attempt to conquer Egypt using pretty scarves and blunted beadwork."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cholera</span>: Deadly disease. I think it's transmitted by water. Which is why I drink Dr. Pepper. If all the people of the 3rd world drank Dr. Pepper, they wouldn't get the cholera. And not to be confused with chlamydia, which is a disease of your dirty parts.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Circumnavigate:</span> My purpose in blogging. As in, "Why do you blog?" "Oh, I'm <span style="font-style: italic;">circumnavigating</span> my children" You say avoid, I say <span style="font-style: italic;">circumnavigate</span>. Let's call the whole thing off.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Calliope</span>: A children's show that used to be on USA when I was a kid. All I remember is "Hey Kids! It's time for Calliope!" Or I could have just dreamed up that show and it's all in my head. In which case, Calliope is the new trendy name among white middle class Americans. Only they spell it Kalliahpee.<br /><br />Oh dang. I just looked up the two words I didn't know. I suck. And I also suck because I'm not going to tag anyone with my own words. Only because I've spent so much time blogging today that I don't have the clevertude to come up with four funny words.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1160005689066868762006-10-04T16:48:00.000-07:002006-10-04T16:48:09.086-07:00I read the news today, oh boy.Inspired by <a href="http://phatmommy.com/">Phat Mommy,</a> this is my own Day in the Life.<br /><br />6:15 Hear Ava crying over a wet bed. Get up, change her sheets, give her a washcloth for her legs and some clean clothes. Go back to bed.<br /><br />7:30 Get up for real as Will is leaving for work. Make everyone get dressed and make their beds.<br /><br />7:45 Make breakfast: fried eggs, toast, hot chocolate. Clean up the kitchen.<br /><br />8:15 Shuffle kids into the bathroom to brush teeth and wash off the hot chocolate. Change Ava's chocolaty shirt. Start a load of laundry.<br /><br />8:20 Remind everyone it's a school day and we need to meet at the table in 5 minutes.<br /><br />8:30 Remind everyone again and give them another five minutes.<br /><br />8:45 Finally started math. Juliet is ordering numbers 1-15 and Charlie is working with place value. Ava is looking for ways to make me lose my mind. I require that we spend a solid hour on math, even if I have to add some math drills to do a whole hour. Realize I forgot to do calendar time with the girls. Oh well.<br /><br />9:45 Charlie starts his spelling work. He works independantly while I do phonics work with Juliet. Ava has been too whiny to participate. I decide I'll work with her later and set out some toys for her to play with.<br /><br />9:54 Call out for Ava. No answer. Find her naked in my room, trying to make her Dr. Suess cd play in an unplugged cd player. Get her some clothes and send her out of the room.<br /><br />10:15 Charlie starts memory work in his room. He is learning the Preamble to the Constitution. Juliet works on writing sentences. I realize I've lost Juliet's memory work tape and I have to make another one. Not now.<br /><br />10:25 Ava is crying for me to play Connect Four with her. I tell her it's still school time and I need to be doing school. She starts a temper tantrum. I put her in her room. I type up Charlie's grammar test.<br /><br />10:35 Juliet listens to the Latin cd.<br /><br />10:40 Juliet makes herself a pumpkin mask. Charlie starts Latin. Ava comes out of the room and tries to make herself her own mask. All of the glues are dried up so I hunt down some glue from my scrapbooking junk. Passing a mirror, I realize I've had dried hot chocolate on the bridge of my nose all morning.<br /><br />10:45 Return to the living room. Discover Charlie using a yard stick to do some sort of dual light saber fighting. Ava is climbing the school supply shelf in search of "really sharp scissors for her mask." I send Charlie to my room with his grammar test to finish. I give Ava some not-sharp scissors and set her back at her seat.<br /><br />11:20 Charlie finishes his test. Morning work is over. I start another load of laundry and heat up the oven for lunch. Chicken nuggets for them and some sort of leftover chili-sandwich concoction for me. Charlie puts Peter Pan into the dvd player. I sit down at the computer for my 2 hour sabbatical from school.<br /><br />11:25 Peter Pan is too scratched up to play. We stick in The Fantastic Four cartoon. Juliet starts a tantrum because the "elastic guy isn't funny." She goes to her room. Comes back to eat lunch.<br /><br />12:20 Kids are sent to the room for "room time". This is one hour when they are supposed to play on their beds, read, or listen to a book on tape. I have about 5 minutes before Ava shows up in my room asking if it's time to get up yet. I'm starting All the King's Men. I fall asleep.<br /><br />1:30 Ava emerges from the room with a bleeding lip. While dealing with them, I let Charlie know we're starting school again at 2:00. I then call our neighbor and invite her son over to play with Charlie after school.<br /><br />1:45 The lip stopped bleeding. The girls listen to the Dr. Suess cd in the hall. I don't know why they're in the hall. I do not know at all.<br /><br />2:00 Oops....I was supposed to pay the rent yesterday. I need to go do that right away before his friend gets here at 3. And I need a Dr. Pepper.<br /><br />2:16 Haven't left yet. WHERE ARE ALL OUR SOCKS????? For the love of all that is holy, WHERE ARE OUR SOCKS?<br /><br />2:48 Squeeze some history in as fast as we can. Our history book is talking about the Eastern Roman Empire today. No lie. Juliet is crying because the glitter glue is dried out and she can't decorate her castle drawing. Charlie is mad because he can't abbreviate 'Constantinople'. Turkish delight, on a moonlit night.<br /><br />3:30 Neighbor-boy arrives. Juliet promptly shows him her new bathing suit. I send them outside while I play Connect Four with Ava.<br /><br />4:00 I stick in a Kipper dvd for Ava and preheat the oven for dinner. Make a mental note that Charlie hasn't read to me today so we need to cover that tomorrow.<br /><br /><br />So the rest of my day will consist of more domestic bliss and more of me sitting at the computer avoiding domestic bliss. Reading this post reminds me of the whole <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/story?id=1648502&page=1">Mommy War</a> discussion that raged last spring. Some women are questioning why so many educated and otherwise competitive women are choosing to spend their days hoping to avoid pee puddles on the bathroom floor rather than contributing to the workforce.<br /><br />I don't know. I don't have an answer. I will say that staying home is harder than working with adults. At least for me. But it's <span style="font-style: italic;">my</span> work and <span style="font-style: italic;">my family</span> that I'm working for. Not someone else's. But this life is not, I repeat <span style="font-weight: bold;">not</span> for everyone. And I have my days when it's not for me, either. But today wasn't one of those days. Today was a'ight.<br /><br />I've got to go scrub some potaters now. And come back to my page this evening. I'll have surprise for you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1159814969903942612006-10-02T11:42:00.000-07:002006-10-02T11:49:29.916-07:00Watch out fools...this one's mine!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://geiri3d.klaki.net/archives/hasselhoff.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://geiri3d.klaki.net/archives/hasselhoff.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Our friend Justin, over at <a href="http://www.thedailyhasselhoff.com/">The Daily Hasselhoff,</a> has got a rock and roll contest going on right now. The Hasselhoff Haiku Showdown! or, as I call it, the Writing Assignment of my DREAMS! Up for grabs is a $25 Amazon gift certificate. So go check it out before I win that mutha for myself.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1159713162263174142006-10-01T06:53:00.000-07:002006-10-01T10:31:37.400-07:00I will never be able to look at that baby with a straight face.While in Texas we visited our friends Paul and Caryn. I'll preface the rest of this post by letting you know that most conversations with Paul and Caryn, no matter how serious and well-intentioned, usually digress into some exercise in silliness and sarcasm. So let's say we're talking about, oh, I don't know, the Holocaust. The conversation will still end in all of us rolling on the floor laughing. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it's true.<br /><br />So Paul and Caryn are expecting their first child. The DNA bloodwork (!!!!) shows it's a girl and they are still brainstorming names. I have a strong and freakish desire to name other people's children so I start throwing out some of my favorites. Alas, the Williamses and the Harrisons favor vastly different name preferences and the name brainstorming ends in a disappointing disgrace.<br /><br />Then I had an idea. I give you the following conversation, to the best of my recollection.<br /><br />"You know you could always name her after your favorite literary or movie character."<br /><br />"Like, Murchoch Williams?"<br /><br />"JackChrissyJanet Williams."<br /><br />"JackChrissyJanetTerry Williams."<br /><br />"JackChrissyJanetTerry...I don't know the name of the other one."<br /><br />"I don't either but I know her real name. It's Jennilee Harris. It's sad that I know that."<br /><br />"Yes it is."<br /><br />"Mrs. Roper Williams."<br /><br />"Mr. Furley Williams."<br /><br />Things start getting out of control from here on out. Picture four grown a** adults laughing themselves to utter illness while continuing this conversation.<br /><br />"We could get her a little leisure suit that zips up."<br /><br />"With medallions."<br /><br />"No, a little ascot."<br /><br />"She could go around threatening everyone with her karate chops." Paul puckers his mouth and starts doing the Furley mock-karate moves.<br /><br />"This is our daughter, Mr. Furley Williams."<br /><br />"Her monogram would be MFW."<br /><br />"Her baby dedication in front of the church: Congregation, do you promise to love and pray for little Mr. Furley Williams?"<br /><br />"Dear Jesus, please watch over Mr. Furley Williams. Help her parents raise her to know you..."<br /><br />"Your little dancer silhouette on the back of your Tahoe will say Mr. Furley."<br /><br />"So the parking lot will read McKenzie, Mackensy, MccKKynzi, Mr. Furley, MkKinsey..."<br /><br />"First day of school...'Have a good time, Mr. Furley. I love you, Mr. Furley."<br /><br />"Good job, Mr. Furley! I'm so proud of you!"<br /><br />"Oh no..."<br /><br />"What?"<br /><br />"She have to learn how to write her name. 'Capital M, lower case R, period. Finger space, capital F..."<br /><br />It was all over after that.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1099/2931/1600/Baby%20Mr.%20Furley.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1099/2931/200/Baby%20Mr.%20Furley.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The sad thing is that I'm going to be secretly calling this unborn child Mr. Furley until the day I die. She's going to know me as the crazy lady who leaves the room laughing everytime I see her.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1159669929841958272006-09-30T18:47:00.000-07:002006-09-30T19:32:09.963-07:00And friends are friends forever...Curses to you, Michael W. Smith, for writing the <span style="font-weight: bold;">best friendship song EVER</span>!<br /><br />I need to issue a formal apology to my own family (mom, sisters, nephew, brother) because their pictures are loaded on a cd buried somewhere in one of our 32 suitcases. They will be posted soon. I promise.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">My girls and their new cousin Kaitlyn, or as Ava and Juliet call her, Kutie-Grace.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://static.flickr.com/80/244763786_cb845a2cbf.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://static.flickr.com/80/244763786_cb845a2cbf.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I have no idea who this is. Put those guns away, cowboys.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://static.flickr.com/102/256774061_d0c4a88214.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://static.flickr.com/102/256774061_d0c4a88214.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Charlie caught a whopper.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://static.flickr.com/90/241151888_55c589a056.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://static.flickr.com/90/241151888_55c589a056.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I picked this guy up at a local bar. I said, "Hey baby, looking for a good time?" He said, "If you're selling, I'm buying."<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://static.flickr.com/91/256879048_55ca3a10c0.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://static.flickr.com/91/256879048_55ca3a10c0.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Fellow former speech club nerd and anonymous reader extraordinaire, Giraldo.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://static.flickr.com/99/256879051_527a47781c.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://static.flickr.com/99/256879051_527a47781c.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Four girls who rocked Hardin-Simmons University in 1994.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://static.flickr.com/87/256879054_d22e9170b5.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://static.flickr.com/87/256879054_d22e9170b5.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />...And seven of the eight children they now hold dominion over.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://static.flickr.com/102/256879065_39809ffbed.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://static.flickr.com/102/256879065_39809ffbed.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">So all is well in coooooool Idaho. The windows are open, the babies are in bed and the daiquiries are being blended. This is the part where I eat some dinner and count my lucky stars for a blessed life.<br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1159554820294358052006-09-29T11:26:00.000-07:002006-09-29T11:33:40.316-07:00I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again.Oh Texas, I hate to go.<br /><br />When I get back to Idaho I'll post mucho pictures of friends and family and good times. Unless some of my friends and family prefer anonyminiinininty, in which case I'll use the Glamour Magazine "don't" rectangular black eye shading to protect their identities.<br /><br />So I should be finishing up packing now. Right now. Any minute now. Still thinking...about...getting....up...and....away...from...this....computer...<br /><br />Alright. Goodnight and good luck from Texas. Next time I'll be typing I'll be in Idaprude. Tee hee.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1159247882615925802006-09-25T21:26:00.000-07:002006-09-26T16:25:25.973-07:00Are you wearing lip gloss or are your lips just greasy?This is why I could never be a real writer. I've got nuthin' going on in my noggin' right now. Between family stuff, meeting up with my favorite Texans and spending time with my newly arrived husband, I haven't had the energy to jot down humorous anecdotes or political commentary.<br /><br />I had one on Hugo Chavez but I accidently erased tit. (I'm giggling because I mistyped that last word...hee hee. Tit.)<br /><br />Soooo anyhooo...what's an busy-heeded gal to do when she's got nothing to write about? A kreme, of course. A kreme? you say, what's a kreme? Glad you axed. Let me tell you. A kreme is a meme written by me, Kristi. Kreme. If my mama had spelled my name like this -Christy, it would be a chreme. Easy enough.<br /><br />So today's kreme consists of completely random questions that I come up with in the next 10 minutes. There is no theme. Maybe this isn't like a meme at all....maybe the correct word is "questionaire".<br /><br /><strong>Favorite president of all time:</strong> Abraham Lincoln<br /><strong>Who would you like to meet if you had a time machine:</strong> Jesus first, Elvis 2nd. Elvis in about 1956.<br /><strong>Favorite teacher of all time</strong>: Mrs. Anders, 3rd grade, Rowland Elementary, Victoria, Tx<br /><strong>First boyfriend</strong>: Will is the first I claim. I don't count the youth group boy from my jr. high years.<br /><strong>Favorite talk show host</strong>: Dick Cavett and Terry Gross<br /><strong>Least favorite talk show host</strong>: Jay Leno<br /><strong>Willy Wonka or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory</strong>: Charlie. The other one freaks me out. Psychadelic boat ride...FREAKS!<br /><strong>Katharine Hepburn or Audrey Hepburn</strong>: I can't choose! Why am I asking myself to choose??!!<br /><strong>Favorite element on the periodic table: </strong>radon<br /><strong>Favorite movie ever</strong>: The Royal Tenebaums ties with American Graffiti<br /><strong>Favorite line from a movie</strong>: My legs are sweatin' mama. (20 points if you can identify the movie).<br /><strong>Most useless skill</strong>: I can tie my hair in knots with one hand. Learned that in church. I'm also pretty good at hand clapping...as in "Down down baby, down by the roller coaster..."<br /><strong>Most valuable skill</strong>: I've taught my kids how to read. And knowing random song lyrics comes in handy occasionally. Oh...and I can predict the future by blinking three times and spitting on a crack in the sidewalk. I think sarcasm is useful but not everyone agrees.<br /><strong>Best feature</strong>: Will says I have fantastic boobs. I tend to agree.<br /><strong>Most narcissistic post</strong>: This one.<br /><strong>Favorite child</strong>: Psych!<br /><strong>Favorite tv show</strong>: Project Runway...where the HAIL is my chiffon?! I say this every morning when I get out of bed.<br /><strong>Anxiety dream</strong>: When I'm stressed I dream that I'm in highschool/college and I've forgotten to go to math class. Like for the whole semester. And I'm wondering if the counselor is going to let me drop it or if I'm going to have to go into the final with no preparation. I've got craziness going on in my head.<br /><strong>Mariah or Whitney</strong>? Whitney. I'm routing for that crackhead.<br /><strong>Superman, Batman or Spider-man</strong>? Superman. He's super, man.<br /><strong>Favorite safety rule</strong>: Stop, drop and roll.<br /><strong>Favorite dance move</strong>: Stop, drop and roll.<br /><strong>Most useless safety rule</strong>: Always wear seatbelts. If I wear my seatbelt, how am I supposed to hold my kids in my lap? I don't care what your "rules" are, I say kids first.<br /><strong>Most useless invention</strong>: Soap. Also vegetables.<br /><strong>Favorite compliment</strong>: see title of post.<br /><br />So all memes end with a tag. This kreme does not feel it is appropriate to discriminate among readers by choosing who should fill in the same questions. I refuse to pick and choose. So I tag everyone reading this. Carla, Snadrs, Jennifer, Giraldo, Riley, Angel, Flipflop, Anonymous, Never-commenters, I tag you all. You can stick your answers in the comments or you can put them in your own blog. You can use my categories or make up your own. Like Tommy Lee Jones says, I don't ca-aire. Or you could ignore this altogether....no harm done.<br /><br />Whew...I'm glad I got that stuff off my chest. My fantastic chest.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1158859419939895562006-09-21T10:10:00.000-07:002006-09-21T22:29:55.306-07:00Here's your chance! Here's your one and only chance...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/030417/seuss-cat-hat.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/030417/seuss-cat-hat.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />...to be <a href="http://www.poetry.com/contest/contest.asp?suite=A70401-5226">AMERICA'S NEXT TOP POET!!!!</a> I'm so glad ANTP doesn't make you wait in line for lengthy auditions. You just answer the spam mail with the title: Will, you could be America's Next Top Poet! and register with the site and submit your poem. You, too can be as recognizable as America's previous top poets...ummm....Robert Frost? Maya Angelou? I've got nothing.<br /><br />On second thought, I'm looking at this entry form. Monthly $1000 prizes? Really? How's this:<br /><br />He lightly tapped the table as she fried the eggs.<br />"I know about the purple crayon," she said.<br />"Damn you. It's over."<br />She flung the skillet at the wall.<br />"<strong>Peanut Butter!!!!!!!"</strong><br /><br /><br />Or this:<br /><br />Roses are red.<br />Violets are blue.<br />Where's Tyra Banks?<br />'Cause I'm America's Next Top Poet.<br /><br />And you know that if you're ANTP you've got to go around wearing <a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=3087">this</a>. It's in the by-laws.<br /><br />By the way, if you write poetry, I offer no condemnation or disrespect. But only if you're in the running to be AMERICA'S NEXT TOP POET.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1158816882933276002006-09-20T22:28:00.000-07:002006-09-20T22:42:28.320-07:00What's she doing? What is that? Ewwww...Me: Charlie, stop gagging! You're fine. It's ok, baby.<br /><br />Ava: I'm siiiiick.<br /><br />Juliet: She's doing it again! Ewww!<br /><br />Me: (driving) It's alright, baby. I'll get you cleaned up in a minute. Charlie, don't look at her! Stop gagging! Don't look at her!<br /><br />Juliet: Aren't we going to turn around?<br /><br />Me: Nope.<br /><br />Ava: I feel siiiiick.<br /><br />Me: I know, baby. Just give me a minute. (pushes button) I'll have 3, no 2 lime slushes and a large Dr. Pepper.<br /><br />That's right. I kept driving. To Sonic. And that's right. She threw up again on the way home. You know you're a mama of three kids when the effort to get them into the car is enough to endure a 3 minute car ride of vomit. For Sonic slushes. <br /><br />One of these days I'm going to write a more glowing story of motherhood. But it will probably be a lie.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1158733239702806592006-09-19T22:56:00.000-07:002006-09-20T10:53:40.440-07:00Yes. I know I should've used the word 'unnecessary'. But I prefer...Irrelevant.<br /><br /><strong><em>ir re' le vant</em></strong> - having no bearing on or connection with the subject at issue. As in:<br /><br />Michael Jackson is <em><strong>irrelevant</strong></em> now that Justin Timberlake has a successful sophomore album. We don't need his crazy bleachiness anymore. Justin + Usher = Why isn't Michael Jackson in the crazyhouse yet?<br /><br />Local network news is <strong><em>irrelevant </em></strong>because no one really believes baby's sippy cup poses DEADLY and IMMINENT THREAT to your loved ones. And no one thinks the sped-up wacky bloopers are funny, either.<br /><br />The Hollywood Star Walk of Fame is <em><strong>irrelevant</strong></em> as Amy Grant was recently honored with a star. With all of 7 movies to her credit, I'm takin' to the notion that Jesus himself bought her that space on the Walk of Fame.<br /><br />Good dental hygeine is <em><strong>irrelevant</strong></em> since I can always get my teeth replaced with brilliantly white choppers.<br /><br />MTV, or as I call it TVTV, is <strong><em>irrelevant</em></strong>. Period.<br /><br />Michael Moore, Ann Coulter, Al Franken and Rush Limbaugh are <strong><em>irrelevant</em></strong> because they believe anyone who is does not subscribe to their world-views is <em><strong>irrelevant</strong></em>.<br /><br /><br />Also in the irrelevant category:<br /><br />the US war on drugs<br />cursive<br />the bra if you're Kierra Knightly<br />panties if you're Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton<br />the UN<br />capitalism in Russia under Putin<br />and completely <em><strong>irrelevant</strong></em> to this post: <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,214656,00.html">NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO AND NO!</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong><em></em></strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1158723457491133132006-09-19T20:37:00.000-07:002006-09-19T20:37:37.503-07:00Don't you hate it when someone does a post even when they have nothing to say?Yeah. Me too.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1158448810673428952006-09-16T15:14:00.000-07:002006-09-16T17:53:13.800-07:00The Emancipation of Meme<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bds4me.netwiz.net/412/bathrobe.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://bds4me.netwiz.net/412/bathrobe.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I never do memes. Who really cares what I ate for breakfast or what brand of feminine products I use (the cheapest)? But I've been tagged and since this meme is totally ROCK AND ROLL, I'm on it.<br /><br />Coming from <a href="http://allrileyedup.blogspot.com/">Riley</a> at <a href="http://allrileyedup.blogspot.com/">All Rileyed Up</a>, the topic is My Ten Favorite TV Characters. Riley who, by the way, just wrote the awesomest sentences I've ever read in a blog, ever:<br /><br /><blockquote>Yeah, you heard me. HIGH-LAN-DER. I love that show. I’d like to slap some bar-b-que sauce on it and eat that s*** up. Highlander also scores high in these other categories: Best Theme Song: Queen + air guitar = Crazy Delicious</blockquote><br />There's no way I'm going to top that. I won't even try.<br /><br /><br />1. <strong>Laura Petrie</strong> - If I were a hot 1960s housewife with a bubble flip and skin tight capris, I'd be Laura Petrie. If I weren't a so-so 2000s housewife with unbrushed hair wearing whatever I picked up off the floor, I'd be Laura Petrie.<br /><br />2. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=NOvI7MKbKfk"><strong>David Brent</strong> </a>from the British version of the Office - I don't throw around the phrase 'complete and total jackass' very often. I'm quite discriminating when it comes to the 'complete and total jackass' label. David Brent qualifies:<br /><br /><blockquote>I haven't got a sign on the door that says white people only. I don't care if you're black, brown or yellow - you know, Orientals make very good workers.<br /></blockquote><br />3. Ok...because I'm not going to come up with 10 great characters I have to also add<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=wXpoIV4CLgs&mode=related&search="> <strong>Gareth </strong></a>from the British Office. Complete and utter jackass times two:<br /><br /><blockquote>My dad, for example, he's not as cosmopolitan or as educated as me and it can be embarrasing, you know. He doesn't understand all the new trendy words - like he'll say "poofs" instead of "gays", "birds" instead of "women", "darkies" instead of "coloureds". </blockquote><br />While I'm at it, I might as well include the entire casts of <strong>Reno 911</strong> and <strong>Arrested Development</strong> on this one. And if you know what I mean when I say, "Chickens don't clap!" then you're cool like me.<br /><br />4. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=qMi9yQLTrr0&mode=related&search="><strong>Dot from MadTv</strong></a> - Oh mah heck I love this character. She puts the oreos on her eyes and says, "Someone took my eyeballs...mmmmmm....eyeballs are gooooood." Yeah...I'm easily amused.<br /><br />5. <strong>Kevin Arnold</strong> from The Wonder Years. If I had had a boyfriend in jr. high/highschool, I would've hoped he was a little like Kevin Arnold. And if I had been as cute as Winnie Cooper, I might have had a shot with a guy like Kevin Arnold. Curses to big glasses and big bangs!<br /><br />6. <strong>Dee</strong> from What's Happening? You find me a funnier character with better one-liners. Go on...I'm waiting. I'm here all night.<br /><br />7. <strong>Sawyer</strong> or <strong>John Locke</strong> on Lost - Don't ask me how I keep up with the Lost episodes without tv. I'm not going to tell you. I don't need the Feds busting down my rented door. I try to not talk about tv characters as if they're real people. But that being said, Sawyer is the crazy bad guy you suspect has a heart o' gold, and John Locke is the crazy good guy verging on insanity. Just keep me away from Jack, OMHeck! He has got to stop trying to solve everyone's problems! Am I right? C'mon sista-girls, am I right???? Aaaaaand we're done.<br /><br />8. <strong>Cousin Balki</strong> from Perfect Strangers - Standing tall. On the wings of my dreams. Don't be reediculous.<br /><br />9. <strong>Alex P. Keaton</strong> - Alex fit in with his hippie family like I fit in with my family. They know what I'm talking about. I'm cool with Alex.<br /><br />10. <strong>Becca</strong> from Life Goes On. Because I totally looked like her. And you always felt sorry for Becca. Yeah, Corky is the mentally handi-capable one, but Becca's the one keeping everything together. And she wasn't all anorexic like Carol Seaver.<br /><br />11. Givin' a shout-out for my fave Kids Rule! shows: MMC (Diyman!), Kids Incorporated, and Rags to Riches. And does anyone else remember <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0086696/">this show</a>? I do. Because they had red hair. And one of them became a fashion designer...just like I wanted to be when I grow up! I am sooo like that girl. If only I had a twin.<br /><br />I hereby tag <a href="http://outnumbered3to1.blogspot.com/">Angel</a>, <a href="http://chickychickybaby.blogspot.com/">Mrs. Chicky</a> and <a href="http://flipflopmamma.blogspot.com/">Flipflop Mama</a>. And I forgive you if you totally ignore your tag and secretly label me a loser.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1158374631681498832006-09-15T19:19:00.000-07:002006-09-15T19:43:51.693-07:00Y'all gonna make me lose my mind. Up in here. Up in here.Four everlovin' hours in the car with my monsters. It's a wonder I didn't have a heart attack before I hit Cuero. What I wouldn't give for my husband and some strawberry daiquiries about right now.<br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><br />Charlie: You're going to grow up to be a criminal.<br /><br />Juliet: NO I'M NOT! I'M GOING TO BE A PRINCESS!<br /><br />Charlie: That's a very HARD JOB TO GET!!!<br /><br />Me: <strong>STOP SCREAMING BEFORE I HAVE A FREAKIN' ACCIDENT!!!!!</strong><br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><br />Me: Stop blowing in each other's ears! That's just creepy.<br /><br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><br /><br />Charlie: Stop putting napkins in my ears!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><br />Ava (crying): Stop it!! YOUR A CRYBABY!!!<br /><br />Juliet (giggling): No, I'm not. You're the one crying.<br /><br />Ava (crying): No, I'm not! YOUR A LIAR AND YOUR TATTLING!!!<br /><br />Me (swiping my arm behind me, the kids are hugging their sad little legs to their chests): STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!!!! STOP YELLING!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!!<br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><br />(All 3 jerks): clap-clap-stomp, clap-clap-stomp, We will, we will, ROCK YOU!! We will, we will, ROCK YOU!!!!<br /><br />***********************************************************************************<br /><br />Charlie: Mooooommm. Juliet is hitting me and Ava took my glasses.<br /><br />Juliet: giggle, giggle<br /><br />Ava: I have your glaaasssseeess!<br /><br />Me: Whatever. Don't talk to me until we get to San Antonio.<br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><br />Yeah...soooo, yeah. Not my bright and shiningest moment in motherhood. Luckily there wasn't any pot or hard liquor in my mother-in-laws backseat so they didn't get too mischevious while I was on autopilot. Although some hard liquor wouldn't be too bad at the moment.<br /><br />I've turn them over to the in-laws. My mama hours are over for the time being. (Exhale). I'm calling my husband.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1158213532968468912006-09-13T21:26:00.000-07:002006-09-13T22:58:53.096-07:00Back to the movies. And the longest post EVER.Believe it or not, there's a reason why my page looks like your granny's formal dining room. When we (we meaning Will) designed the page I had one major contribution. I held up my box set of Cary Grant movies (best Christmas present EVER from my beloved, thankyouverymuch) and I said, "I want it to look like a movie poster from the 1930s."<br /><br />So we messed around (with the design, of course...what were you thinking, pervert?) and came up with the wallpaperish background and the art deco lettering and the picture of Claudette Colbert and some guy looking at my children in horror. Yes...I know it doesn't look hippity hoppity or bootilicious or whatever the kiddies are saying these days. I like old movies. And this looks like me. So if you're picturing me as one of the Golden Girls running this little blog, das cool wit' me. If I have to choose which Golden Girl, I'd pick Betty White. Just not the slut one...old ladies + sluttiness = scary ladyparts-doctor visits.<br /><br />How the phrase 'scary ladyparts-doctor visits' ended up in my blog, I'll never know. <br /><br />So we're back to my own version of movie recommendations. Descending from the 70s (I didn't think anyone would stomach my killer reviews of Working Girl and Urban Cowboy so I skipped the 80s), we have arrived at the 50s. You'd think that a puritanical prude like myself would find all sorts of great 50s films to recommend....shockingly, this is not the case.<br /><br />When it came down to writing down a list of great movies from this decade I was at a loss. There's two main reasons: 1. I don't get into Hitchcock movies, and b. not a big fan of epic spectacles either. So this eliminates all the major films of the decade: T<em>he Ten Commandments</em>, <em>The Greatest Show on Earth</em>, <em>Spartacus</em>, <em>Psycho</em>, <em>North by Northwest</em>...etceterah, etceterah. Oh yeah, and <em>The King and I</em>. So no one who is a serious movie crazy person would take my list seriously. (Like there's some critic out there hanging on my every word....I get a little delusional sometimes).<br /><br />If you're still reading by this point, here's my list:<br /><br /><strong><em>Singin' in the Rain</em></strong> - The best musical of all time. I've seen them all...this is the best. Gene Kelly....how do I put this? You know how most male dancers look like male <em>dancers</em>? Gene Kelly looks like a guy who really likes girls, who's also dancing. And not just dancing but leaping and twirling...in the most heterosexual way imaginable. You have to see it to believe it. Gene Kelly aside, Singin' in the Rain is very clever, very funny and very well-done. And my kids thought it was hi-larious.<br /><br /><strong><em>The Searchers</em></strong> (I bet no one saw a western coming...just wait- there's more) - This is one the film critics love. I loved it, too. Don't expect fun hijinks with The Searchers. John Wayne is a racist cowboy looking for his niece who has been kidnapped by some bad Injuns. The complexity of racism is what makes this movie so compelling. We watch it today and feel uncomfortable after a lifetime of white guys= bad guys, Native Americans = good guys. But buried deep back in our history are recorded incidences of white women and children being kidnapped and tortured by some of the more aggressive Indian tribes. And the people who originally watched The Searchers might have heard those stories or had within their own memories encounters that fostered racism. That being said, yes, this a racist movie. But a good one. Not good because it's racist but....crap. You know what I mean.<br /><br /><strong><em>Desk Set</em></strong> - Do you know the Hepburn/Tracy story? I don't have space to tell it here...but it's the stuff of legend. I'm starting to sound like a voiceover on an A & E biography. Let's cut to the chase: Katharine's character is named 'Bunny' and she's damn smart. Spencer's character is installing a computer the size of a Starbucks franchise in her workplace. Clever banter ensues. And the clothes are very pretty, too.<br /><br /><strong><em>High Noon</em></strong> - Another western I liked. Everything about this movie is simple but effective. I wouldn't be surprised if it has less dialogue than any other movie of the decade (except the Tom and Jerry's...but they don't count). So the good guy sheriff has to face a bad guy and no one's got his back. I told you it was simple. But effective.<br /><br /><strong><em>Streetcar Named Desire/On the Waterfront</em></strong> I lumped these together because I couldn't choose between them. Marlon Brando is bloody brilliant in both. Streetcar was a play and you can tell it was a play because the dialogue sounds so play-ish. But Brando is so freakin' mesmerizing in this part you have to forgive the silly dialogue and weak New Awlins accents. Yeah...ok Streetcar is my favorite. Everyone remembers the Stella yell...but do you remember what happens when Stella comes down? Watch it, my friend. All I gots to say is ha cha cha cha.<br /><br />This is my longest post EVER! Ever? Yeah, ever. So I'll skip the Honorable Mentions and honorably mention that I also like <strong><em>All about Eve</em></strong> and <em><strong>Giant </strong></em>and <em><strong>Easter Parade</strong></em> as well. And if you made it to the end of this post, I salute you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1157996930243711932006-09-11T10:40:00.000-07:002006-09-11T10:48:50.276-07:00I'm sorry. Some celebrity obsessed idiot hijacked my blog.We all know I'm too thoughtful and intelligent to waste precious virtual space writing about John Travolta, fashion and whatever else that airhead wrote about. Chyeah right.<br /><br />In case you haven't visited our homeschool page I'm encouraging you to take a look. I call it <a href="http://here-in-idahohomeschool.blogspot.com/">School House Rock!</a> and I'm answering some good questions. At least I'm answering from my narrow little perspective. Questions like:<br /><br />What is the value of memory work?<br />What went wrong with 20th century education?<br />How do you teach kids to read? (I haven't answered this one yet. No one's asked.)<br />What is the Trivium?<br />What is a classical education?<br />What's new pussycat?<br /><br />Just checking. So for those of you fascinated by the idea of homeschooling...but not quite sure how it works, <a href="http://here-in-idahohomeschool.blogspot.com/">hop on over</a>. And ask more questions.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1157786250718622132006-09-08T23:57:00.000-07:002006-09-09T23:49:06.330-07:00What I'd give to have a time machine right now...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.usatoday.com/life/_photos/2006/09/08/hairspray-large.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://images.usatoday.com/life/_photos/2006/09/08/hairspray-large.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I'd go back to 1980. I'd apply to be a waitress at Gilley's in Houston. I'd quickly befriend John Travolta. He'll like me because I'll let him in on a new religion I'm inventing. It's based on the time-travel proposed in Slaughterhouse Five. He will be muy impressed.<br /><br />Once we start getting our pedicures at the same place we'll become best friends. At this point I implement my scheme.<br /><br />Me: John. In the future you are going to be invited to be in movie called Hairspray.<br /><br />John: Whoa! Like, what are we talkin' about here?<br /><br />Me: I can't explain right now. I have to get back to the future. You will be offered a movie called Hairspray. You must refuse.<br /><br />John: Like, I thought you was just a waitress and now your talkin' bout time travel and hair products? Like, what's up with you, here?<br /><br />Me: Focus John. Urban Cowboy will be the last movie you'll ever make that you will be attractive in. <em>The last movie</em>. Enjoy the flicker of cuteness you had for 15 minutes because it's about to be over. I want you to promise me you will not ever ever put on a dress and a fat suit and a wig and be in a movie called Hairspray.<br /><br />John: I can't make no promises 'bout the make-up and dresses, here. Like, you know what I mean, here?<br /><br />Me: Yes, John. I understand. Just know that it all goes downhill for you from here. Now sign the contract, please.<br /><br />John: Like, alright. I'll sign whatever, here. Do these super tight jeans make my butt look too big?<br /><br />Me: No John. You look fine. Just remember what I said. And sign on the back, also. That part has the "I will not be in Staying Alive" clause. <em>Sign it.</em><br /><em></em><br />Then I'd go back to my real life, contract in hand, and pat myself on the back. Maybe they'll get some loser like <a href="http://hometown.aol.co.uk/AtomBoyMail/kenickie.jpg">Kenickie</a> to play Edna Turnblad. And then I wouldn't have had to throw up from my eyes beholding Bud in drag.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27781864.post-1157762733961127512006-09-08T17:37:00.000-07:002006-09-09T23:53:56.573-07:00Oh Brad! You're so brave!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.madhauscreative.com/Components/PERSONAL%20PAGES/FUN%20STUFF/hollywood_hotties/Brad-Pitt-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.madhauscreative.com/Components/PERSONAL%20PAGES/FUN%20STUFF/hollywood_hotties/Brad-Pitt-01.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Brad Pitt says he won't marry Angelina until all Americans are <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=2411049">"legally able" to wed</a>. All Americans, meaning all gay Americans...not the children or polygymous fellas or in some cases, both. Shame on Will for marrying me back when only the straights could marry. I'm already respecting him less.<br /><br />In the altruistic spirit of those who are better than the rest of us, aka the celebrities, I offer the following:<br /><br />I will not wash the dishes until Oprah gives me a million dollars for being so cute.<br /><br />I will not limit my diet until at least 15 more people comment on the six pounds I lost this year.<br /><br />I will not post another picture of my children until the crisis in Darfur is solved.<br /><br />I will not smile again until Wes Anderson makes me another movie.<br /><br />I will not learn French, German, Norse, Cockney, EU, African, Jewish or any other not-English language until someone explains the metric system to me. This I don't back down on.<br /><br /><br />This is too easy. I'm going to avoid everything I've never wanted to do. Who needs a pre-nup with Republican conservatives in Congress? Sneaky, sneaky Brad.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4