Emulating Etheline

AFI has issued a list of the 100 "Most Inspirational Movies." It's funny how movies can have a life changing power over people. How many politicians say they went into politics because of "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"? How many lawyers drew their inspiration from Atticus in "To Kill a Mockingbird"? It's one thing to love a character because they're lovable. It's another to see pieces of yourself in the character. I love Katharine Hepburn, for example, but patrician New Englander I am not. I love Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly, but the character never made sense to me. Where is her furniture? Why doesn't she get a job? I think to myself.

There is one character, only one that I can think of, that I have closely identified with since I first saw her: Etheline Tenenbaum. When I saw The Royal Tenenbaums in 2001 my son was 2 and my oldest daughter was a few months old. But I knew that was the mom I wanted to be. Confident, intelligent, dedicated. Of course in the movie all of the Tenenbaum children grow into dysfunctional adults, but we'll forget that part for now. Etheline is my model when I take Juliet to plays and sign up Charlie for art classes. Etheline is my model when I enroll the kids in tennis classes and swimming lessons. In the same week.

I think we all secretly hope there is a genius lurking in our child, just waiting for the right class to pop out. I don't delude myself with prodigy whims at this point. I just want the kids to have something, anything that they enjoy enough to pursue on their own. And how will they find that 'something' without the exposure? This is what I tell myself when trotting the kids from the tennis courts to the athletic club. And after a long, dreary winter with nothing to do but watch the snow fall all of this sudden activity is very welcome. So far.

So while I secretly dream of future piano recitals, geography bees and tennis tournaments, I try to keep an Etheline-like perspective. Are they having fun? Are they making friends and getting along with teammates? Usually the answer is 'yes'. So I feel good about the role I've played so far. And as long as we stay out of the beauty pageant circuit I think I can manage keeping Etheline as my role model.

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