Tuesday, October 10, 2006

We're Moving!

Here In Idaho is in the process of moving from here-in-idaho.blogspot.com to this site, here-in-idaho.com.

The move has not been as smooth as we were hoping. The import from blogger beta didn't work, so we were only able to import the first few posts and no comments. We're working on it now and hoping to get the old content transferred over quickly. In the mean time, you can view here-in-idaho.blogspot.com for archives.


Prepare to be amazed.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Americans aren't the only ones with messed-up, crazy leaders. Look at what I found...

October 9, 2006

Dear Diary,

Today I detonated North Korea's first atomic bomb. I bet the capitalist Americans are FREAKING OUT lol. And the chinese mainland...I hate those guys. They're always in my space. And I think they're stalking my Myspace page...I keep getting spam and "ur a looser." on my comments. I'll show them ha ha ha.

So anyways, I just thought I'd journal out my feelings 2night. I think that I'm going to mess with the UN for a while before I hide my bombs. I need some new furniture (totally trashed the place after my last D & D party). So I'm gonna see if I can get some new stuff for my place from the UN. My big screen tv is effing on the blitz again. Peace of crap. Probably made by the Chinese. I'll get them for that lol.

Speaking of tv, I need to check my tivo. I missed the premier of Lost (busy with H-bombz) so I need to catch up. OMSelf! I almost forgot...I totally FREAKED out when my girl Vivica was eliminated from Dancing With the Stars! I needs to hook up with her. She is hott. I tried to message her on myspace but I think it wasn't really her site. The pictures on her page looked like they were of a drag queen. He was still hott, lol.

I think I need to start working out. All of the national paintings of me show this fugly double chin I've got going on. What's up with that? Maybe it's time to get some work done...uh-oh though, don't want to turn out like Janice Dickinson ha ha ha.

So I best be going. I got some wicked work to get done before I start messin' with Kofi. I think I'm going to be all, "Yeah...I'll hand over my bombs for reals. Psyyyyych!" My job rocks.





There's too many to choose from. TOO MANY, I TELL YOU!!

So we began with the Good Girl's Guide to Seventies Cinema. To which, by the way, I officially add Paper Moon. And then we covered the Not-Quite-As-Good Girl's Guide to Movies of the 1960s. Followed by Boring Title for a Boring Decade, except for the ones featuring Marlon Brando: Movies of the 1950s.

Before beginning my loving tribute to my favorite decade in movie making, at least my other favorite decade, I should inform the unintiated reader that I am a lover of old films. L-O-V-E-R with a capital FREAK when it comes to movies of the 1930s and 1940s. So writing this post and narrowing down my favorites may be, no will be, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Ever. It's go-time.

It's a Wonderful Life - I already wrote an extensive tribute to this film over here, so I'm not going to gush any more than I already did. Except to say this is the finest movie of the decade. And for sentimental suckers like me, possibly of all time.

The Philadelphia Story
- "My feet are made of clay, made of clay. Did you know?"

My other favorite movie of all time. Mr. CaryGrant, Mr. Jimmy Stewart, Lovely Miss Katharine Hepburn...they just need to slap some Judy Garland and Gene Kelly up in there and I'd straight-up do the robot in pure joy.

Mr. CaryGrant Stars in... I tried to pick another favorite but I couldn't. And you can't make me. He has three stand-outs of the 1940s. His Girl Friday, My Favorite Wife, and Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House . Look up the word "charming" in the dictionary. This is what you'll see. Look up "double-take", and while you're there, look up "best comedic timing ever. EVER." Mr. Cary Grant. The only man that can make George Clooney look like a buffoon.

Dumbo- The part...with the...mama elephant...and the bars...and the chain...I can't even write about it without falling apart. Excuse me.

Meet Me in St. Louis - Liza Minnelli was concieved because of this movie. You so needed to know that. This is the story of a Victorian family living in St. Louis in 1904. Sort of a "year in the life" of this family. And that's it...not much drama, not much suspense. MMISL is just a pretty little picture of a pretty little time that probably never existed as prettily as it did in the movie. Sort of like Norman Rockwell paintings. You'd like to think things used to be so lovely, but deep down you know better. Judy Garland is in this one. And she's adorable.

The Maltese Falcon - "When you're slapped, you'll take it and you'll like it." Don't fool with Sam Spade. He'll mess you up.

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington - Make your kids watch this. Make your neighbor watch this. Make your congressman watch this...but keep an eye on your congressman. Don't let him get fresh with your kids.

Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn star in - Adam's Rib and Woman of the Year. Once more, I couldn't choose. But keep your eye on Hepburn in both of them. She didn't need Gloria Steinem to teach her how to assert herself. What a woman.

Citizen Kane - Rooooossseebuuud....Citizen Kane isn't all about doom and gloom, you know. Witness debauchery filmed below:

Exactly what I imagine the Blogher conference looked like. Only less male.

Mildred Pierce - Back when shoulder pads and highly arched eyebrows = glamour, Joan Crawford pulled off this masterpiece. That's right, I said Joan "no wire hangers!" Crawford. Watch this movie and then keep an eye on your daughters....your backstabbing, conniving, manipulative daughters... Not now, Ava...I'm writing my blog!

And finally,

Casablanca - I think that there is a law somewhere requiring everyone alive to see Casablanca. I'm not sure if it's federal law...or just part of Bush's sweeping Patriotic Act initiatives...but I know it's on the books. So get this in your Netflix queue before the Minute-Men come and lock up your sorry self. And the scene below, this very scene, is one of my favorite moments ever recorded on film. Viva La France!

There you have it. My favorite movies from my favorite decade. And I could've kept going. So when I see this nonsense those Hollywood schmucks try to jam down our throats these days, I know better. Those fools have got nothing on these guys.


Husbands say the sweetest things.

5:30 am

Me (whispering): Bye, darling. I'm going to work. I took $2 from your wallet.

Will (sleeping): Don't take money from me. I'll knock you out.

Me: snicker, snicker

Will: I'll come after you with a club.

Me: Bye, darling. Have a good morning.

Will: You, too.

That Will...he's such a card.


Saturday, October 07, 2006

Get your certificate. Jerk.

Riley won legit. Maybe.
No, I'm not jealous.


Friday, October 06, 2006

Where have all the Audreys gone?

It's time for a gratuitous exercise in celebrity bashing. I'm thinking of making it a weekly feature. As in, where have all the Audrey's gone? Fridays. Audrey, who exuded elegance, and who's sophistication is decidely lacking in today's celebrity personas. Today I'm going to pick on someone very near and dear to my heart. At least the part of my heart that abhors talent.

How far can one travel on the strength of their personality alone? Let's look at Madonna, shall we? I fall into the avid Madonna-disliker category. Some of you may be now stuffing non-descript envelopes with explosives to send to my door at this very moment. Just pause a second. I'm going somewhere with this.

Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. When I was a little girl, like most little girls, I loved running around singing "Like a Virgin." Rolling around on the floor, crawling in my pretend wedding dress...good times. I adored Madonna. I think I even had a poster of her in my room. Crispy hair, GINORMOUS eyebrow...she was the bomb. When I was eight. Then she went through her clown face stage, and then look-at-me-I'm-hispanic stage, and so on and so forth. So while I was growing up, Madonna was just getting new hair cuts. The media loves to call this "evolving" and "controversial" . I call it "getting a new haircut" and "bastardizing religious symbols for your own promotion." Ouch. Put those bombs away, my friends. I'm still going somewhere with this.

But she pulls it off. She has a couple of dissenters like me, but it seems that most of the world community thinks she's cool and who am I to say they're wrong? Well...I'm Kristi and I say they're wrong, but that's besides the point. Madonna has made an empire based on the strength of her personality. How many of you know 11th grade choir girls who can sing better than Madonna? Don't answer that. What she lacks in talent, she makes up for in bravado.

Where am I going with this? I'll tell you.

Here in the blogging world, there are a handful of people who make their livings off of their blogs. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouf? They don't have real jobs. They blog and their ad revenue makes them enough money to sustain themselves and their families. I know. It's crazy. Crazy-like how do I get on that crazy-train? Apparently it has something to do with something called traffic. It's all a mystery to me.

So in my new-found passion to emulate Madonna in order to generate web traffic, I think I'm going to be making a few changes. For one, I'm going to start mocking all things spiritual by stealing your cultural identity and claiming it for my own. This week I'm Asian. Call me Kristi-San. Next week I'll be Indian. Dots, not feathers. And if you're offended, call Madonna. She's already covered this ground, so it's ok.

Second, I'm going to start writing crappy songs. Here's my first one (to be sung to the tune of Madonna's "Music"):

Hey Mr. Charlie, time to go to school.
It's time to start our homeschool.
Reading...makes the children...smarter...yeah.
Reading...makes the children...smarter...yeah.

Third, obviously I need to be showing some more skin up here. So, I'm warning you now, in the future I will be flashing midriff and possibly boobs if you're lucky. Yes. I know Madonna works out really hard to get those freaky arms that could decapitate small children, but "fitness" is her "look". I can't go for that look because it's her look. My "look" is what I call "not-fit and a little bit flabby." Believe me, there are some people who really go for that. Sickos.

Alright, then. It's the new me. The Madonna-esque me. Let the checks start rolling in!!!!



Thursday, October 05, 2006

Is this how I'm supposed to be writing?

I give you the following:

By FRAZIER MOORE AP Television Writer

NEW YORK Oct 4, 2006 (AP)— "Lost" settled a few questions sort of while posing many more on the premiere of its third season Wednesday.

Do you see this syntax? This would be like me saying, "I should be starting math sort of but I'm at the computer freaking out over an AP writer's sentence structure."

I'm not a grammar nazi. It's one thing to leave out correct capitalization and punctuation on your emails or text messages. But I've noticed that national publications are getting sloppy, as well. And this is scary. Once the papers forget the rules, you forget the rules, we'll forget the rules, it'll be anarchy!

That's all.


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Kristi From Texas
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