All I Really Need to Know I Learned On MySpace
Here are the top 10 things I've learned after a few weeks on MySpace, or as my friend Jennifer calls it, 'CrackSpace':
1. The #1 job for young adults is "pimpin'". If the "pimpin'' field is a little overcrowded you can always apply to be a "gangsta". If I had known this 10 years ago I would have changed my major.
2. The conventions of the English language are no more. all u need iz sum imagin8shun & a keebord & u can b sh8kspeer {} \]
3. tHe SamE gOes FoR CapitIliZaTIon.
4. If you ain't mad in your picture, you ain't representin.
5. Tom is everyone's friend.
6. But if you try to hook up with Tom he'll issue a restraining order accusing you of being a stalker.
7. Just kidding.
8. It's easy to be a stalker with MySpace. You can look up your preschool crush, your high school enemies and that guy that never talked to you on the bus even though you were best friends in the third grade. Anonymously. You can even do a search of your hometown and just see everyone in your age group at once. But then you need to cover your tracks so your husband doesn't know how much time you're spending looking up people on MySpace. You don't have a job and you can't afford a divorce.
9. If you have less than 100 friends you are a loser. Loo-hoo-hoo-zerrrrr. Don't even bother reading my blog if you don't have 100 friends. I don't want to be associated with you. And you ain't representin', yo.
10. All modern teenage girls are actually hookers. It's true...you can tell by their pictures. In my day, back in the 90s, teenage girls were only a little skanky, now they're hookers. Somebody's got to work for all those pimps out there.
11. (Because 11 is one more than 10) The most important thing I've learned on MySpace is that 10 years from now, all of my children's online activity will be monitored my me and my husband. They won't know the meaning of computer privacy until they're 18 and out of the house. For shizzle.
http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com/
1. The #1 job for young adults is "pimpin'". If the "pimpin'' field is a little overcrowded you can always apply to be a "gangsta". If I had known this 10 years ago I would have changed my major.
2. The conventions of the English language are no more. all u need iz sum imagin8shun & a keebord & u can b sh8kspeer {} \]
3. tHe SamE gOes FoR CapitIliZaTIon.
4. If you ain't mad in your picture, you ain't representin.
5. Tom is everyone's friend.
6. But if you try to hook up with Tom he'll issue a restraining order accusing you of being a stalker.
7. Just kidding.
8. It's easy to be a stalker with MySpace. You can look up your preschool crush, your high school enemies and that guy that never talked to you on the bus even though you were best friends in the third grade. Anonymously. You can even do a search of your hometown and just see everyone in your age group at once. But then you need to cover your tracks so your husband doesn't know how much time you're spending looking up people on MySpace. You don't have a job and you can't afford a divorce.
9. If you have less than 100 friends you are a loser. Loo-hoo-hoo-zerrrrr. Don't even bother reading my blog if you don't have 100 friends. I don't want to be associated with you. And you ain't representin', yo.
10. All modern teenage girls are actually hookers. It's true...you can tell by their pictures. In my day, back in the 90s, teenage girls were only a little skanky, now they're hookers. Somebody's got to work for all those pimps out there.
11. (Because 11 is one more than 10) The most important thing I've learned on MySpace is that 10 years from now, all of my children's online activity will be monitored my me and my husband. They won't know the meaning of computer privacy until they're 18 and out of the house. For shizzle.
http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com/
posted by Will at 7/30/2006 02:30:00 PM
2 Comments:
U 'sho is funny, word. I laughed out loud. Thank you.
MySpace scares me. There are frightening people on MySpace, and they're all, like, 16 years old. Or they're 60 year old men posing as 16. But now that you've pointed out that I can do a search of my hometown...
Let the stalking begin!
I hear dat! We warn parents and students at our school about the dangers. Our computer will also be well-monitored when the boys are old enough to use it. MySpace is a scary place.
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