Strawberry daiquiries + Shopgirl = I think I'm Claire Danes

Will and I have an intricate bartering system. He pimped my blog so I cut the grass. I cut the grass so he made me (clears throat) several rum heavy strawberry daiquiries.

The kids are in bed, the blog is up and running, the house is cooling down. We settled down to our Netflix selection, Steve Martin's Shopgirl. I should preface the rest of the post by mentioning alcohol makes me chatty. And makes me think I look like Claire Danes.


"I totally look like Claire Danes. Don't you think I look like Claire Danes?"

(Avoiding eye contact) "Yeah. You could look like Claire Danes."

"No really...if I did my hair like that and lost some weight. Don't you think I look just like her?"

(Trying to hide his condescending sober smile) "Yeah..."

"If you ever left me I would totally marry a rich older man."

"If you left me I'd go out with Claire Danes."

"Like...I wouldn't even think twice about it. Especially if you died. I'd find a rich middle aged man who thought I was cute. Someone looking for a girl in her twent...."

(Snort)

"Shut up! You better leave me soon, while I'm still young enough to get an older man."

"I'm trying to listen to the movie."

"This is a cute movie. Why would someone who wrote something this charming be in The Pink Panther?"

(Will pausing and reversing to catch missed dialogue.)

"Who does Jason Schwartzman remind you of? I was thinking Todd, but not really. Who does he look like?"

(Not even acknowledging me)

"No one would want to marry me now because I had my tubes tied. Older men want a second chance to raise their kids...You better not leave me. I couldn't get anyone else."

"I'm trying to watch the movie."

"When I'm drunk I think I look like Claire Danes. Don't you think I look like Claire Danes? Who do you look like? Who would play you in a movie? Ed Harris? No....who have I said you look like?"

"I gave you too much to drink."

Serves him right for putting so much rum in my daiquiries.

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