Monday, August 21, 2006

Glorifying Elmo, the mentally handiCAPABLE muppet

I've been saying this for years...no one would listen. During three maternity leaves I would allow whichever children were in the home to watch hours of children's programming while I nursed and slept and counted down the days before I could begin utilizing my daycare again.

So I'd let the little ones watch the same nonsense we let all our little ones watch...Bob the Builder, Dora, Blue's Clues etc. I banned Barney and I banned Teletubbies for obvious reasons. But I was keen on Sesame Street. After all, I cut my tv addiction teeth on Big Bird and Grover and the deaf lady who seemed so nice. So I'd prop myself up and sing along to the opening sequence, looking forward to catching up with Gordan and Maria and Mr. Hooper.

Moving right along, I'd see that Gordan's still there. The lady from 227 never made it back from the world of sitcom. Ok, don't know her...don't know him. I gather Mr. Hooper died many years ago. Ok...new faces but same concept. I'm still cool with Sesame Street.

And then, half an hour into the show something horrible happened. This obnoxious, high pitched voiced special ed muppet completely took over the show. Now, I was fully aware of the Tickle Me Elmo phenomenon of a few years ago...I knew this annoying character was quite popular. But to put a character who can't speak properly as the centerpiece of an educational program? Come on...this show gets government funding!

This post comes totally out of left field. I had forgotten about my aggravation with Elmo until I read this article entitled Elmo is an Evildoer: The Self-Obsessed Muppet is Destroying All That's Holy on Children's TV.

I desperately don't want the show to go away, so I know they can't afford to run the "Elmo accidentally drank bleach and died" episode. Instead, they need to simply take Elmo and his buddies and give them their own hourlong show for the idiot spawn. Then put Luis, Gordon and the cool Muppets on their own half-hour "Classic Sesame" for the kids who will one day actually contribute to our society.

Whichever of the two shows you watched would serve as a convenient litmus test for the rest of your life. "Which 'Sesame Street' did you watch?" will be code on college applications, Internet dating and job applications. Blue and red states will be divided not by presidential choices, but by Grover and Elmo.

If we can't save all the kids, let's at least save the ones who can master speaking in first-person. The rest we'll use for reality TV stars.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I tried...but I couldn't.

And if I could sell Caillou and his bald-headed-baby-talking self to the gypsies, I would.

http://here-in-idaho.blogspot.com/

3 Comments:

Blogger Awesome Mom said...

I actually like Teletubbies *hides head in shame*

Mr. Hooper did indeed die, I was a kid when it happened and even remember the episode where it was talked about. I read that article and I think that the guy that worte it was a bit over the top. Elmo is not all that bad but I would like to see the older muppets back. I am not too fond of the new fairy however. She is just too pink and annoying.

8/21/2006 10:52:00 PM  
Blogger Will said...

Maybe I'm just too cynical for Barney. Everything about that show drives me batty...the voice, the sacharine sweet lessons, the way the kids on the show are so unnatural...

I don't have any problems with the show other than it annoys me. And if I can't watch it without using superhuman strength to throw a bookcase at the tv, then I probably shouldn't have it on.

That's just me.

8/22/2006 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger valiens said...

One of the coolest things about Sesame Street was its low-key, relationship-based focus. There were beautifully hand-rendered cell animation shorts, the muppets and people engaged in compassionate interaction, there was no drivvel or teasing, and lots of beauty and slow-paced simplicity. It is now a computer-generated cheapo dumbed-down farce with three second cuts. Count 'em. There was a really almost-live feel about it when we were kids.

I want the old ones back, too. They should re-release the old ones, remastered on DVD. Problem solved, with a ladybug picnic on top.

Barney? If it was only the insulting music I wouldn't mind quite so much. It's the stage kids who have nothing happy about their smiles. I find them very sad, and don't want my kids to think that's acceptable or normal. I knew kids like that. They got spanked when they didn't smile hard enough at auditions.

Bravo for putting forth the awful, evil Elmo truth! :)

8/23/2006 03:05:00 PM  

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